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bitch please house md critic


Picture Of Me

Musings Of The Snarky Doctor

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bitch please house md critic

Sorry for the long hiatus, but the show that made America and the rest of the world witness fanfiction monstruosity is back!

Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000

Sung by: House and The Ducklings

Written by: Marco and The Marcos

In a not too distant future
Next Tuesday more or less
There was the acerbic Dr. House
who of rules couldn't care less

He worked at Princeton Hospital,
No white coat for him as usual
He worked on cases which were really weird
And when he noticed bad!fic his evil side was thrilled...

'I'll read my colleagues cheesy bad!fic,
The worse I can find,
They'll have to sit and read them all
and I'll monitor their minds (if they have any).'

Now keep in mind House can control
when the bad!fic begins or ends
But don't you dare think that he'd ever spare
his dear colleagues and friends

Princeton role call:

Cuddy (Yay for me getting an episode!)
Foreman (Feels kinda like home.)
Chase (I'm heeere!)
Cameron (Don't care, not gonna go anywhere.)
WIIIIIILSON! (If you don't know me by now...)

If you wonder how they eat and breathe
and other science facts
Now keep in mind "It's a hospital,
I should really just relax,

House: Did I mention Tritter's here?
Tritter: And we're baaack!

For Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000!!!"

House and the gang are sitting in front of the TV, watching bad movies
and riffing away...

Mark: Frozen: Also known as Stupidity: The Movie!
Derek: Everything that you hated about 'Open Water', ten times worse!

Suddenly, for no reason, like in these stupid horror movies of late,
Bad!Fic Sign flashes, and everybody screams


[Doors 1-6, they go into the theater]

Is there anybody in there?

Mark: *Old Man Voice* Hello? Hello?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story

House: And they're very grateful for that!

apart from my own and am not making any profit in this story.

Chase: Except the 'driving us all insane' thing.

Warning – Just to let you know the rating of this story may change due
to content I will tell you for each chapter I believe to be of T or M

Chase: Newsflash - we don't care.

Also for those who wish to share kind words with me I Thank You and I
would appreciate no flames or haters if the story is not of interest to
you then read something else that of which you enjoy. Thank you.

Derek: Translated: haters to the left.

Is there anybody in there?

Cuddy: NO!

Isn’t it funny how some people say change is a good thing, it’s not all
they are really saying is that something has happened and you need to
be positive about it or at least they are trying to be.

Derek: Meredith, is that you?

It was that way for House, Cameron had left, she was the actual one who
had left Princeton Plainsboro,

Foreman: Not her surrogate!

left in the truth and turmoil over what Chase had done and what she
felt had been largely to do with House.

Brennan: Please, please! Don't tell me that means she's pregnant...

She didn’t see the look on his face as she had kissed him on the cheek

Foreman: Or my shocked one when she mangled grammar.

a whispering goodbye for a second of what could have been.

House: And thankfully never came to be.

She didn’t see him try and limp towards her before it was too late all
the while him thinking , I don’t want her to go, Taub , Thirteen even ,
but not Cameron .

House: Again, you're putting words in my mouth.

Not the waif of a woman who had amused , irritated , sickened , felt
something unknown for

Wilson: Hint: it's called R-E-P-U-L-S-I-O-N.

in all the years since she had started working under him .

Cuddy: Make of it what you want...

Still there was nothing he could do but carry on the way he had been
doing which is why he was so nonchalant in the face of Wilsons wonder
and questioning over the fact that it was Cameron who had left not
willing to go through the turbulence anymore of Greg House.

Mark: No one will be admitted during the breathtaking CARRYING ON

Month after month House wondered every so often when Cameron crept into
his mind unguarded when the fortress around his heart was shaky or the
ice there that would let one droplet of water that had melted allow
Cameron to sneak in and made him wonder what she was doing, where, who
with .

Derek: It's like all those metaphors had frozen and merged weirdly
together while melting.

Chase had received divorce papers maybe a month after she had

Jack: hightailed it out of there.
Bree: *sings* Brave Miss Allie ran away!
Cameron: NO!
Bree: *sings* She got up and fled away!
Cameron: I DIDN'T!
Bree: *sings* In the face of danger she had no doubt, she just turned
back and ran bravely out, she wasn't scared and that's a fact, she just
chickened out and ran all back...
Cameron: I'D NEVER!

left which had surprised everyone, not House Camerons morale compass

Bree: Such fine writing has not been seen outside of bathroom scrawls.

maybe wouldn’t of allowed more time than necessary and the fact that
Chase had stayed behind still working for the man that Cameron deemed
the one responsible for what had happened, well she just didn’t have
the energy

Sawyer: She knew she should've gotten the Energizer batteries!

and wanted to make a clean break.

Chase: So she used Tide!

Isn’t it funny of how Greg House was not the sort of man you could make
a clean break from he was the sort of man you try and left but piece by
piece you would try and it just wouldn’t work that was what happened
with Stacey, Lydia would always remember even in some ways Lisa Cuddy.

House: More ways than one.

But there were truths that would always stay, like the fact that

Derek: House didn't love her.

even in a joke when Foreman had been sick had House told him he loved
him just to get him to open his mouth ? ….. What ifs, wonderings,

Mark: Boredom.

House stopped, put back on his face of nonchalance and stone

Derek: It must be pretty heavy.

and used that stone for what he felt inside, nothing was going to get
through again.

Jack B: And next season, he's going to work with Patty Hewes again...

His friendship with Wilson, the possibility of Cuddy was a good
distraction lust, friendship nothing more but it was something
interesting to do pressing the buttons to see what would happen,

Wilson: Boredom would set in.

he had his team well 2 new school 2 old and his job

House: If this is what passes for writing today, no WONDER 'Twilight'
is a huge success.

it was something tangible

Chase: As opposed to...?

and he could do it, knew how to do and he could focus on.

Cameron: Finding out if 'Paranormal Activity' is real.
Mark: Believe me, it isn't. Nobody would be that stupid.
House: *thinking of Sue* I wouldn't be so sure...

He wasn’t going to let his mind wonder about the brunette that slipped

Derek: From the writer of the Carrying On scene, more of the same.

and he always thought of her as a brunette that was when she was his
how he remembered her and he didn’t want to remember what he had done
to her.

Jack: Remember how he'd mutilated her and how he'd sent her home...
piece... by piece.

Although at some point he would have to remember life’s funny little
moments that like to give you a good wielding cane in the leg making
you realize what you’ve got or what you still haven’t.

Brennan: Stephenie Meyer writes new fanfiction!

1 Year Later……..

Cuddy: We found out the Na'Vi actually exist.

“So that is all my pretties Gregory House checking out you 2 get nights

Sawyer: Silly Doctor, Chatspeak Is For The Internet!

Have fun!”

Jack: Thanks, we won't!

[Doors 1-6]

The gang is watching something different this time; not idiotic horror
films with ridiculously preposterous to the point of almost absurd
premises, but Sue facing 'ChibiUsa's 7th Birthday'.

Tape: This is a hentai story about ChibiUsa. If you don't like Incest,
Child sex,
lesbian sex, bondage, anal sex,or things like that you
probably shouldn't read

Sue: And if you do like those, there's something deeply wrong with you.

In this story, ChibiUsa has sex of some sort with every senshi.

Sue: There IS such a thing as 'overkill', you know.

If you want to skip to a certain senshi, I've marked off the
different people's
with stars.

Sue: What if I'd want to skip to the end?

Here is the order they do her in:

Sue: Suddenly, it's a slasher movie.

Mamoru - a good hard incestous fuck, bondage

Sue: *disgusted*

Rei - An All-too -big rod and some torture.

Sue: You think that's hard? Try auditioning for BayWatch and being told
that they're going in a different direction, that's hard!

Haruka First a good spanking then doubledildo sex.

Sue: And then right to bed!

Minako - Tit stuff and kissing and fondling

Sue: And disgusting the readers.

Michiru - They lick each other's pussies

Sue: Jesus, even thinking about cats doesn't make this any less sleazy!

Makoto Double Fist/double foot Fuck(lots of pain)

Sue: Is that even POSSIBLE?

Ami - banana fucks ChibiUsa's butthole and whips.

Sue: I'm sorry?

Setsuna - Uses the Time staff on Small Lady

Sue: Oh, sure, that thing she carries around, the Time Key... *does a
double take* The Time Key???

Hotaru - They rub pussies and make out

Sue: Because rubbing cats together is orgasmic.

Usagi - 69, tit stuff

Sue: And tat stuff.

Feel free to

Sue: Call the Authorities on the Author

read this if you're a minor, though, people under 18 should be able to
have fun too!

Sue: Yes, little kids deserve to be scarred for life too!

House stops the tape, grins and pushes the button.



VERY!BAD!FIC BY yellow robbin

MST BY TheWaughnMan



His friendship with Wilson, the possibility of Cuddy was a
good distraction lust, friendship nothing more but it was something
interesting to do pressing the buttons to see what would happen, he had
his team well 2 new school 2 old and his job it was something tangible
and he could do it, knew how to do and he could focus on

A Servolicious Production.

[ Our doctor today is | chipper ]

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what the hell was that fic?!
Monty python and the Holy Grail for the win!
welcome back! it has been entirely too long!

Good job but the fic is just rubbish

But there were truths that would always stay, like the fact that even in a joke when Foreman had been sick had House told him he loved him just to get him to open his mouth

Whoa, I don't remember seeing that scene!

Neither did I.

Thanks for reading!

  • 1