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bitch please house md critic


Picture Of Me

Musings Of The Snarky Doctor

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PPT3K SEASON 4 EP 2 - Not So Crazy After All (Part 2)
bitch please house md critic
New year, new episode... same madness.

Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000

Sung by: House and The Ducklings

Written by: Marco and The Marcos

In a not too distant future
Next Tuesday more or less
There was the acerbic Dr. House
who of rules couldn't care less

He worked at Princeton Hospital,
No white coat for him as usual
He worked on cases which were really weird
And when he noticed bad!fic his evil side was thrilled...

'I'll read my colleagues cheesy bad!fic,
The worse I can find,
They'll have to sit and read them all
and I'll monitor their minds (if they have any).'

Now keep in mind House can control
when the bad!fic begins or ends
But don't you dare think that he'd ever spare
his dear colleagues and friends

Princeton role call:

Cuddy (Yay for me getting an episode!)
Foreman (Feels kinda like home.)
Chase (I'm heeere!)
Cameron (Don't care, not gonna go anywhere.)
WIIIIIILSON! (If you don't know me by now...)

If you wonder how they eat and breathe
and other science facts
Now keep in mind "It's a hospital,
I should really just relax,

House: Did I mention Tritter's here?
Tritter: It's going to be a hell of a New Year!

For Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000!!!"

Everybody is getting ready for the New Year's Party, and Sloan is
already taking care of the two infants in attendance...

while the third decides to upheld a New Year's tradition (or so he
calls it)

House: Bad!Fic sporking!!

Bad!Fic Sign flashes, and everybody screams


[Doors 1-6, they go into the theater]

She couldn’t believe that!

Derek: Gossip Girl had been cancelled!

She wasn’t working for him just for five months now and he was ignoring
her completely.

Cameron: *HAL voice* What do you think you're doing, Greg?

Not that he has ever listened to her carefully, but at least has been
noticing her.

Chase: In the 'Where's Cameron?' panels.

She still was present on this meeting of the ducklings, but she wasn’t
really participating.

Cuddy: Did the English language change and I didn't get the memo?

She was trying to, but he didn’t give a damn about her opinion. Not

House: This implies I once did... which isn't true.

and this was making her very, very angry. Dammit House! She realized
that she would even prefer to mock her theories, rather to ignore them.

Mark: Bringing 'self-hating' to new heights!

She had even changed her hair color, no reaction; it was so untypical
for House, he always had a comment on everything.

Foreman: Like Mystery Science Theater 3000, only a lot less funny.

Alison Cameron was a good doctor, head of ER, good immunologist.

Wilson: *pets Cameron* Good immunologist, good!
Cameron: *grumbles*

What gives him a reason to isolate he like that?

Mark: She had the Rage virus?

It wasn’t because she had resigned, Foreman had too. She hasn’t been
more annoying lately that she’s been three years ago…

House: I beg to differ!

“Hey, what’s wrong?” a familiar voice sent her back to the reality.

Jack B: The alternate reality.

It was her nice boyfriend and amazing surgeon Robert Chase, she thought
and smiled weakly.

“Nothing. I’m just tired.”

Brennan: Of being in this story.

“Sorry to hear it” he said matter-of-factly and took her hands-“I’ve
planned a sweet romantic emergency for tonight.”

Chase: A beautiful fractured ulna. What do you think of that?

“Oooh, I do am really sorry, Robert” her face twisted in a sad grimace-

Jack: *Cameron voice* I've got to be dragged to Hell tonight!

“Have to work late?” he smiled sadly- “you do it a lot lately. It’s ok.
I know it’s hard to be head of whole department.”

“I’m not exactly…”

House: Sane...

“Cameron, House waits us in his office” Thirteen have showed up

Derek: To what? And where did they come from?

“the patient have a shadow on the MRI,

Bree: It could be a death omen.

we’re doing a biopsy.”

Cuddy: And an autopsy, just to be sure.

“So why are we needed?” she scowled her brows.

Foreman: One at a time.

“Don’t know. Guess he’s going to explain us his genius idea” Thirteen
shrugged and drifted away.

Cuddy: In the wind.

“Have to go” Cameron said apologizing to Chase and walk away quickly.

Foreman: *is writhing in pain due to the non-grammar*

“I know” he whispered.

Derek: Robert Chase: The Doctor Whisperer.

“So” House started “I, no offence guys, was right.

Tritter: 'No offence'? This is fiction, alright.

The surgeons messed up his brain. Radiation almost killed his immune
system. And

Foreman: Happosai stole your panties.

drugs made all this even worse. Someone has said that…”

Cuddy: Vampires exist.

“Cameron” Foreman underlined this.

Cameron: With the marker.

“That’s why his body didn’t recognize the TB meds and start attacking

Mark: Cameron is the reason?

Now we’re cutting a little brain tissue and he’s fixed or vegetable,
depends of the surgeon.”

House: We made a survey.

The team remained silent. House turned on his chair like a child,
staring at them amused.

Foreman: There's something deeply wrong in that sentence...

His puzzle was done; his job too. What were they waiting for?

Brennan: A song from Gwen Stefani?

Oh, yeah tell them they’re free to go.

Chase: Go in peace.

“Shoo… Fly away, be free” he said like he was talking to some birds or
something “without out link to the surgery.

Cameron: I'll send you an email with it.

Cameron,” he made a small pause until the others were leaving “inscribe
our guy for tomorrow

House: In stone.

and I want you to make sure he have a decent surgeon, not Chase.”

Derek: House speak English very fine.

“Ok” she told him dryly and turned to the door.

Mark: And kept talking to it, revealing all the juicy secrets to it.

“And Cameron” he called out- hate the hair!

Sawyer: Is that an Author's Note or...

“Bye, House” she said smiling with a hint of satisfaction.

Brennan: And a pinch of salt.

“Make you look stupid!” he yelled after her and grinned.

House: And that was not stupid at all!

[Doors 1-6]

Everybody is getting ready to party, but Sue is at it again...

Sue: *with megaphone* YOU ALL SUCK!
House: Can it, Sue! It's not funny!
Sue: I'll do whatever I want, Gimp Of The Year!
House: Do you want to go through 'ChibiUsa's 7th Birthday Again'?
Sue: Your resentment is delicious!
House: You leave me no choice...
Wilson: No, House! It's too cruel!
House: She deserves it.

And Sue is thrown again in the theater... this time... she's shown...
the Wilson-transgender fic! And the 'hermaphrodite who has sex with
Artemis' fics!

The party begins, while Sue gets her punishment... will she survive?




MST BY TheWaughnMan



Cameron,” he made a small pause until the others were leaving
“inscribe our guy for tomorrow and I want you to make sure he have a
decent surgeon, not Chase.”

A Servolicious Production

[ Our doctor today is chipper ]

  • 1
excellent! I liked Foreman getting all meta.
Happy New year! (fixes everyone whatever they'd like to drink except the Sue and gives House a big kiss)

Happy New Year to you too! And thanks for reading!

  • 1