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bitch please house md critic


Picture Of Me

Musings Of The Snarky Doctor

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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Theater...
bitch please house md critic
Out of the theater our guys ended up getting the first part of a new chapter of the last bad!fic...

House knocked abruptly on the door in front of him, trying to brush off the sudden wave of awkwardness he felt.

Mark: Uh... no.

It wasn't the first time he'd found himself outside Cameron's apartment in the late hours of the night

House: It was.
Chase: When you so wanted Cameron back, didn't you?
House: It wasn't LATE!

and certainly not the first time he'd been apprehensive

Cuddy: About his Vicodin supply

but there was still an air of doubt hanging in his mind over the motivations for this particular visit.

Derek: May I suggest 'Plot Contrivance'?

He wasn't the protective type, rarely cared about other peoples problems and

Foreman: Grammar.

he definitely wasn'tjealous.

Dean: NoReally!

Just because they were having casual sex didn't mean they were exclusive...

House: It mean they were cheap.

but even so he was still unusually perturbed by the encounter he'd whitnessed earlier this afternoon.

Castiel: Is whitnessing witnessing the antics of Whitney Houston?

It wasn't like he'd been spying;

(John) Casey: Nooooo.....

far from it actually, more like trying to home in on something entertaining...

Mark: *annoyed* Hone.

and when she'd entered the not so interesting centrifuge lab he'd even stalled,

Derek: He needed to be rebooted!

losing his mild interest in whatever it was she was doing.

Chuck: Mild interest has been eaten by a grue. Quit Or Retry?

Sure he'd been bored but not bored enough to engage in senseless conversation;

Cuddy: Like talking to people...

that's what Wilson was for.

Tritter: That and sex, anyway.

It was only when he'd caught sight of the smarmy Doctor

Dean: Who!


Bree: A reaper? Here?

following her that he'd deemed the situation worthy of his attention

Brennan: All bow before God!Sue House!

and, making sure he was out of sight, continued to watch the pair interact with fascination.

Sawyer: This sounds like a horribly wrong remake of 'Sliver'.
Jack: And not the good 'wrong', either!

However, it didn't take long for his amusement to twist into a vague impression of concern

Cuddy: Just seven months, give or take...

and now, despite himself, he couldn't put a stop to the questions that plagued his mind.

House: I did, with Vicodin!

Was she sleeping with him as well?

Bree: Did House sleep with Dr. Mason too?

Did he try and hit on her? Did he hurt her? Or more importantly, why did he care so much?

Cameron: Since he doesn't the point is kinda moot, don't you think?

Sighing, he banged on the door a little louder surprised when it flew open seconds later.

Castiel: I wouldn't enter if I were you...

'House…' There was a tinge of annoyance to Cameron's tone as she leant against the wall but it quickly died on her lips.

Foreman: Annoyance has been eaten by a grue. Quit or retry?

It was late and she was tired but denying him wouldn't be fair,

Chase: And we all know Cameron's 'Fair Play Lady'...

not when she knew how hard it was for him to be the one to seek her out.

Castiel: I may be mistaken, but this seems to be a no way in Hell situation.

'Can I come in?'

His voice was gruff as he fiddled absently with top of his

All: EWWWW!!


All: Oh.

and she stepped aside allowing him to hobble

Mark & Derek: *little boy voice* Come hobble with us, Gregory. For ever... and ever... and ever.

passed, 'I didn't think you were coming round tonight.'

Chase: I thought the execution was tomorrow!

They moved into the small apartment and he paused by the couch considering the words.

House: 'I Don't Love You'.

He shouldn't have come. Whatever they were doing, it was leading to something he didn't want…

Wilson: This fanfic?

but despite the instinct to run, despite ordering his legs to move, the words that came from his mouth betrayed what his subconscious was feeling. 'I thought maybe we could talk?'

Cameron: About the season finale of Supernatural?

They way he cleared his throat made her think he was joking and no longer

Cuddy: Caring about her.

feeling tired, she advanced with a

Wilson: Katana?

playful look in her eyes.

Wilson: Oh.

'About your fantasies? Sure.'

Derek: Your murderous fantasies!

Before he could comprehend or deny the comment,

Brennan: He lost consciousness.

he was flat on his back

Mark: His ass.

losing himself to the feel of her body as she traced kisses along his jaw.

Foreman: Trailed.

He wanted to roll his eyes, push her off but once again his actions failed to respond to common sense and he instead found himself starting to remove her sweater.

Cuddy: In his excuse, it was a really garish sweater.

Without warning she pushed his hands back down stopping the motion and he quickly remembered why he was here.

Tritter: He was there to kill her!

'Cameron.' He stalled, grabbing her wrist gently. 'Something you want to share?'

Sawyer: With the rest of the class?

She bit the inside of her cheek trying not to wince at the pain he was causing.

Jack B: Her brain hurt.

He couldn't know, there was no way…

Brennan: He had found out her secret obsession with 'Twilight'!
Cameron: Way to make me puke, Bren.

'What do you mean?'

Foreman: Please spell the word!

She tried to feign ignorance but he used his free hand to roll up her sleeve revealing the large purple

Cuddy: Tattoo.

bruise and she pulled away feeling embarrassed.

Cameron: By this fic.

'Is that why you came here? What? You're keeping tabs on me now?'

House: Don't you wish...

He drew his eyes away from the discolored skin,

Jack: The discolored, decaying skin.

ignoring the anger. It was a tactic to avoid his questions but he wasn't falling for

Dean: Her.

it and sat up as she began pacing, refusing to break her

Castiel: Arms.


Derek: What's your major malfunction??

'Are you going to tell me what's going on?'

Cameron: She's my sister, she's my daughter, she's my sister, she's my daughter, she's my sister!

'Nothing, it was nothing.'

Mark: Forget it, House, it's Cameron!

[ Our doctor today is | chipper ]

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Props for the Chinatown reference.

hahahahaha! great MST! more please!

I'm working on it! Thanks for reading!

Great MST. Please rip apart the rest of this horrid fic.

Sure will! Thanks for reading!

Great MST but sure this 'fic' is garbage! You're a brave soul.


bwhaha, that was awesome. :D I do love MST.

I especially like the line, "Come hobble with us...forever and ever..."

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