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thewaughnman


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Musings Of The Snarky Doctor


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PRINCETON PLAINSBORO THEATER 3000 . Season 3 Ep 12: 'Evaluation' (CHAPTER 1, PART 1)
bitch please house md critic
thewaughnman

Here we are again, with a horrible fic that will make you scream!

Enjoy!

Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000

Sung by: House and The Ducklings

Written by: Marco and The Marcos

In a not too distant future
Next Tuesday more or less
There was the acerbic Dr. House
who of rules couldn't care less

He worked at Princeton Hospital,
No white coat for him as usual
He worked on cases which were really weird
And when he noticed bad!fic his evil side was thrilled...

'I'll read my colleagues cheesy bad!fic,
The worse I can find,
They'll have to sit and read them all
and I'll monitor their minds (if they have any).'

Now keep in mind House can control
when the bad!fic begins or ends
But don't you dare think that he'd ever spare
his dear colleagues and friends

Princeton role call:

Cuddy (I guess I'm close to get that baby...)
Foreman (I'm a fellow... except not.)
Chase (Right here, Mate!)
Cameron (Am I still in the show?)
WIIIIIILSON! (Here's for an angsty Season 5!)

If you wonder how they eat and breathe
and other science facts
Now keep in mind "It's a hospital,
I should really just relax,

House: Did I mention Tritter's here?
Tritter: When are they going to STOP WRITING??

For Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000!!!"

Everybody's reading a book, very invested in what they're reading when something tips 'Bad!Fic Sign' on.

Every light begins to flash, a siren can be heard and everybody begins to move every which
way, while screaming

All: AAAAAHHHH.... WE'VE GOT BAD!FIC SIGN!!!!

[Doors 1-6, they go into the theater]

7 pm: Princeton Plainsborough Teaching Hospital – Dr. Cuddy’s Office

Mark: This story takes place between 7AM and 8AM, on the day of a Mary Sue's
arrival to the hospital.


“You paged me, Dr. Cuddy?” said Elle Scott, in her late 20’s, tall, brunette,
psychiatrist and one of the latest breakthroughs of the hospital.

Chase: A Bionic Woman!
Chuck: They rebuilt her. They have the technology.


“Yeah, thanks for coming. I see you’re done with Dr. Wilson’s psychological
evaluation” Cuddy said taking a look at the reports and Dr. Scott nodded.

Cameron: Is she a bobblehead doctor?

“What about Dr. Cameron’s?

Blair: Silly, she doesn't have a mind!

“I might need some a couple of more sessions with her”

House: wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more...

“I’ve asked you to evaluate all the head’s department as quick as you could
and you’re asking me more time?” Cuddy said staring her.

Casey: IMMA SHOW YA FAST!


“I’m not done, Dr. Cuddy.” Dr. Scott said. “I can’t evaluate a person with
just two sessions” Cuddy sighed.

Brennan: Knowing this fic was just not. Going. To stop.

“You want good doctors with rations minds heading your departments, right?”

Cuddy: Actually, I'd prefer them with WHOLE minds, thankyou.

Cuddy nodded. “Then, give me more time and let me do my job”

Derek: Who's talking?

“Fine, you have time until the end of the month”

Mark: And then I'll kill you!

“Thank you, see you tomorrow” Dr. Scott and turned to leave.

Dan: And then she turned to stay.

“Dr. Scott!”

Mark: Janet!
Cameron: Dr. Scott!
Chase: Janet!
Cameron: Brad!
Wilson: Rocky!

Cameron: Dr. Scott!
Mark: Janet!
Cameron: Dr. Scott!
Chase: Janet!
Cameron: Brad!
Wilson: Rocky!

She stopped as she was about to open the door. “Have you talked to Dr. House
yet?”

Castiel: Is the door speaking?

“He’s coming tomorrow morning” Dr. Scott said facing Cuddy again.

Chase, Cameron, Foreman: TMI! TMI!

“I wouldn’t be sure” Cuddy said smirking.

House: I work alright in that area, thankyouverymuch!


“Thank God I’ve always been an optimistic” Dr. Scott said and left the room

Chase: Finally!

“Well, good luck to you!” Cuddy said after she was gone.

Dean: GOTTA... PAD... THE FIC! GOTTA PAD THE FIC!

Dr. Elle Scott went to her office in order to pick her staff and go home but
someone was expecting her in the darkness.

Brennan: It was Michael Myers!
Tritter: Nope, it's not HalloweeN.
Brennan: Jason Voorhees?
Tritter: We're not at Crystal Lake.
Brennan: Harry Warden?
Tritter: Does this look like a mining town?
Brennan: ALRIGHT, smartypants from Hell, give me a killer.
Tritter: Henry Dunn.
Brennan: This is not Harper's Island!
Tritter: Freddy Krueger!
Brennan: She's not dreaming!
Tritter: Jack The Ripper?
Brennan: Are we in London now? And in 1888 to boot?
Tritter: Okay, stop. Let's choose a killer, now.
Brennan: To go with the lameness of the fic... I'd say 'The Strangers'.
Tritter: *nods*


“Wasn’t expecting you this early, Dr. House” Elle said as she headed to her
desk and turned on a lamp leaving the room dimly lit.

Jack: *Dr. Scott as a Bond Villain* Dr. House, you have a nasty habit of
showing up.

“You were scheduled at 8 tomorrow morning”

Jack B: For the lobotomy!

She said as she on her desk facing House who was sitting in front of her.

House: As she WHAT?

“I’m not a morning person” House said dryly and Elle smiled.

Mark: Then fried him with electric blasts. The End.

[Doors 1-6]

House: Ok... let's all leave. NOW.

Everybody leaves in fear of the fic restarting, and one of them pushes the button.

PRINCETON PLAINSBORO THEATRE 3000

EVALUATION (CHAPTER 1)

VERY!BAD!FIC BY SweetRedSunshine

MST BY TheWaughnMan

KEEP CIRCULATING THE FICS

-_^

Stinger:
“I’m not done, Dr. Cuddy.” Dr. Scott said. “I can’t evaluate a person with just two sessions” Cuddy sighed. “You want good doctors with rations minds heading your departments, right?” Cuddy nodded. “Then, give me more time and let me do my job”

A Servolicious Production.



[ Our doctor today is chipper ]

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